6 Communication Challenges Professional Women Face

Image courtesy of Sura Nualpradid at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Training  and coaching professional women and emerging female leaders for the past eight years and as a former corporate Vice President myself, I’ve personally witnessed  and experienced communication challenges that many professionals face, that block them from being heard, appreciated, respected, valued and promoted.  If you’re a woman, you know too that women are not “men in skirts” – women have different preferences, values, styles and communication approaches from men’s that often contribute to their feeling less than fully valued and accepted in the corporate arena, due to the fact that women are still a minority in senior leadership ranks.

According to the fascinating book The Female Brain by Dr. Louann Brizendine, the differences between male and female brains are widespread, contributing to significant differences in behavior and perception. Dr. Brizendine explains:

“…In the brain centers for language and hearing, for example, women have 11 percent more neurons than men.  The principal hub of both emotion and memory formation – the hippocampus – is also larger in the female brain as is the brain circuitry for language and observing emotions in others…The female brain has tremendous unique aptitudes – outstanding verbal agility, the ability to connect deeply in friendship, a nearly psychic capacity to read faces and tone of voice for emotions and states of mind, and the ability to defuse conflict. All of this is hardwired into the brains of women. These are the talents women are born with that many men, frankly, are not.  Men are born with other talents, shaped by their own hormonal reality…”

(Watch for my upcoming ForbesWoman interview with Dr. Brizendine for more on this important topic.)

Studying the practical implications of these neurobiological differences in the workplace, I’ve observed that professional women often experience significant challenges in communicating powerfully, effectively and with command and authority, particularly when other desired outcomes (such as preserving relationships, ensuring equality and connection, defusing conflict, etc.) might be at risk.

The following are what I’ve found to be the top six challenges professional women face in communicating powerfully to bring about positive results for their careers and their futures in today’s competitive corporate arena.  I fully anticipate that some readers will say that I’m overgeneralizing here, but my research of over 10 years on women in the workplace bears these findings out.  I share these challenges not to be fatalistic, but to help women understand the legitimate communication challenges they face, and help them overcome these challenges to expand their leadership capacity and reach their highest potential.

The top 6 communication challenges professional women face are:

1)  Taking credit where credit is due

I’ve observed that women are typically reluctant to stand up and take credit for what they’ve accomplished, achieved and initiated.  They often say “we” did this, or credit the team and other players rather than claiming “I” made this happen.  Men are simply not as reluctant to state what they’ve accomplished in terms that make it clear who achieved the desired results and to put themselves in a “one-up” position.  If you can’t speak powerfully and compellingly about your accomplishments, I guarantee that no one else will. For help to speak more powerfully about who you are and what you’ve done, check out Peggy Klaus’ great book Brag: The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It.

2)  Taking things personally

I’ve seen women over and over again (and have been guilty of this myself) ruminate on particular goings-on at work, taking things personally and experiencing them with deep emotionality rather than processing through the challenges analytically and neutralizing their emotions.  I’m not suggesting here that women become less emotional  overall – I’m recommending that, in the workplace,  women strive to critically examine what’s occurring around them from a more  neutral, expansive, and balanced perspective, so that their responses can be as effective and empowered as possible, taking into account all key factors and influences.  If we operate from emotionality only, we compromise our ability to make effective decisions and take action from a more centered, leadership-oriented stance.

3)      Negotiating effectively for what you deserve

Recent studies have shown that, out of the gate, men negotiate for salary, benefits, position, and responsibility significantly more than women.   One study revealed that 57% of men negotiate for their first salaries, while only 7% of women do.   Again, much of women’s reluctance to negotiate and ask for what they want and deserve is influenced by their neurobiology and the inherent goals they have for communication, and by the punitive repercussions they’ve faced by asking.  That said, it’s vitally important to learn how to speak up for what you want, and make a powerful case for being well-compensated, rewarded and valued for your contributions.  What you want and deserve will not just fall in your lap.
(Need help with this? Get some one-on-one support to negotiate effectively.)

4)      Challenging power

Challenging the ideas, initiatives or goals of people at higher levels of power and authority can be hard for anyone, but women in particular struggle with speaking up to challenge authority.  According to linguistics expert Deborah Tannen,

“Men tend to be sensitive to the power dynamics of interaction, speaking in ways that position themselves as one up and resisting being put in a one-down position by others. Women tend to react more strongly to the rapport dynamic, speaking in ways that save face for others and buffering statements that could be seen as putting others in a one-down position. These linguistic patterns are pervasive – you can hear them in hundreds of exchanges in the workplace every day. And, as in the case of Cheryl and Phil, they affect who gets heard and who gets credit.”

I believe this phenomenon is due in part to the way women and men have been culturally trained, their neurobiology, and also because of the real backlash that many women have experienced in the workplace when they speak their minds forcefully and unabashedly to go against those in the majority.  (Check out the Heidi vs. Howard Roizen case study).

But the fact is that women cannot ascend to leadership if they don’t challenge others and the status quo.  The question isn’t “Should I challenge?” but “How best can I challenge authority so that I am heard, understood, and valued for my input?” The correct answer to that question is available to you only after you thoroughly examine the culture and ecosystem you’re involved with, andunderstand how to thrive in it.

5)      Obtaining sponsors who can influence growth

Research has shown that men are naturally more drawn to finding sponsors – individuals at the organization who are at higher levels who can advocate for you and support your growth and ascension – than women are.   Mentorship – receiving feedback and advice from successful, knowledgeable colleagues — is important for women, certainly, but sponsorship is essential.  Finding mentors who can also sponsor and elevate you, and have the clout to help you advance and be appointed to top positions, and gain the exposure and support you need to grow, is vital to your long-term professional success.

6)      Projecting self-confidence  and a powerful presence

Finally, your body language, confidence and poise under fire can make or break your ability to advance and succeed in the workplace .  We all have what I call “power gaps” – areas in which we feel “less than” – less capable, confident, courageous and contributive than we want to be.

Women, I’ve found, beat themselves more about their power gaps – they make themselves wrong and feel more shame and vulnerability about their gaps than men do.  The key to greater professional and personal success is to get out of denial about what isn’t working – uncover your power gaps, and work committedly to close them. Whatever you feel you are missing, endeavor to gain it, achieve it and claim it.  If you need more knowledge or training, go out and get it.  If you feel ashamed at a large error you made at work, don’t bury it but rectify it.

In the end, you can’t fake empowerment – everything is energy and energy doesn’t lie.  Either you feel confident, courageous and capable or you don’t.   The quickest path to success is to own where you feel “less than,” and strive to accept and appreciate yourself fully while at the same time taking positive steps to rebuild your confidence and legitimately bolster your sense of self-worth.

Which of these communication challenges resonates with you most? What one step can you take today to close your “power gaps?”





originally posted by kathy caprino